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 We are House ID, an historical reenactment group based on the N.W. Olympic Peninsula WA. We are performers artisans & martial artists dedicated to the perpetuation & practice of medieval reenactment in the best traditions of The S.C.A., Renaissance festivals, & other historical venues up to the 1720's For those of you in the SCA we are in the Kingdom of An Tir in the Shire of Druim Doineann. Come Play With Us! |
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By Gareth Thomas 1) My noble opponent, who has just lost, will be killed; not anonymously imprisoned in a dungeon to be released by accident later on. 2) I will keep in mind that shooting my enemy is always an option. 3) The blade which is the symbol of my authority will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair, beyond the River of Fire, etc. It will be in my safe deposit box. 4) I will not gloat over my enemy's predicament at sword point before killing him. 5) When I've beaten my enemy, and he says, "Look, before you kill me, at least tell me what this is about!" I will say "No'', and stab him. Better yet, I will stab him and then say "No." 6) One of my seconds will be an average five year old child. Any flaws in my technique he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 7) I will cremate the bodies of my slain foes, not leave them at the bottom of the ravine and just assume they are dead. 8) The loser is not entitled to a last kiss, a last smoke , or anything else. 9) I will never utter the sentence, "Before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know......" 10) I will not have a son. Although his feeble attempt to usurp me would fail, it could prove distracting at a crucial point in time. 11) I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was deadly, but one look at a superior swordsman and she's betray her own father. 12) I will be neither chivalrous, nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable secret move, I will use it as often as possible and not wait until the last possible second to employ it. 13) Once I have the ultimate dueling weapon in hand.....I will kill the inventor. 14) I will only employ adjudicators who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the duel tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 15) If an advisor says to me, "My lord, he is but one man; what can he possibly do?" I will say , "This." and stab the advisor. 16) If I learn of some callow youth who has a vendetta against me, I will have him killed early on, not wait for him to grow up and confront me. 17) If I learn the whereabouts of the duelist who is out to kill me, I will not send hired thugs out to eliminate the man. I may send them out for a pizza and do the job myself. 18) If my second expresses concern over the health of my opponent, I will immediately have him transferred to a less people-oriented position. 19) If I have my enemy at blade point and say "Surrender!" and he says, "Never!", I will say, "Okay. " and kill him. 20) All my seconds must be able to shoot a man-sized target at ten paces. 21) Before using anyone else's sword, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 22) If it becomes necessary to escape, I will not pose dramatically in the doorway to toss off a one-liner. 23) I will never train an apprentice to be better than I am. 24) I will spare someone who once saved my life, as it encourages others to do so. However, if he wants me to spare him in the future, he'd better save my life again. 25) I will not agree to let my opponent go free if they win a rigged contest, no matter how sure I am they can't win. 26) If my opponent runs up to the roof, I will not run after him to try and drive him off the edge. Also, I will not engage him at the edge of a cliff, and in the middle of a rope bridge is not even an option. 27) If I am fighting atop a moving carriage and my enemy drops flat suddenly, I too will drop instead of looking behind me to see what he sees. 28) In a formal duel, I will not have opponents of one sex adjudicated over by members of the opposite sex. 29) I will never walk into a tavern with anyone braver than myself. 30) When I find myself at corp-a-corps with my enemy, I will not pause to throw off cute one-liners. 31) I will not give my sword a catchy name, as this promotes unrealistic expectations of the weapon. 32) If my enemy is within lunging distance, so am I. The guide to successful Swordsmanship Copyright 1999 Gareth Thomas |
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House ID is an independent historical reenactment group and as such is NOT officially associated with the Society for Creative Anachronism Inc. (SCA) or any other historical societies or event organizers although individual members may or may not maintain such associations and all references to SCA names, places and events are for the sole purpose of reference. Copyright © 2005 - 2010 House ID, PainBrain.com & Sword & Sigil Web Admin admin_at_painbrain.com |